I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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