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• (773): View more from Illinois

  I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.

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• (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.

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• (270): View more from Kentucky

  True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.

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• (910): View more from North Carolina

  Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.

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  The 21 Worst Ways People Have Been Dumped

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• (419): View more from Ohio

  I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?

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• (406): View more from Montana

  He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.

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• (940): View more from Texas

  She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.

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• (619): View more from California

  I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!

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• (323): View more from California

  You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five

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• 

  19 People Confess The Worst Things They Have Been Accused Of

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• (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away

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• (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.

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• (563): View more from Iowa

  I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.

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• (480): View more from Arizona

  Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!

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• (47): View more from Norway

  Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van

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• (802): View more from Vermont

  I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.

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