$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
21 Of The Most Regrettable Tattoo Ideas Ever
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
These 25 People Had Very Inappropriate Sexual Relations(hips)
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.