i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
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