No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
they're like a gay fantastic four
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.