Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(303): View more from Colorado

oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out

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(805): View more from California

Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?

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(512): View more from Texas

I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.

(573): View more from Missouri

Successful day.

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(707): View more from California

I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor

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Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
Read it at the TFLN blog
(204): View more from Manitoba

at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.

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(630): View more from Illinois

Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.

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(210): View more from Texas

BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed

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(814): View more from Pennsylvania

He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.

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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home

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