Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'