I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
The 21 Worst Ways People Have Been Dumped
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
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Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.