She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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