kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
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