Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
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