Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
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