got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
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