i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Randomize
