Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Randomize
