College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
I still have a little drunk in my system
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
Randomize
