Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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