Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
