Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
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