i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
