I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Randomize
