Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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