he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
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