So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
