And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
Randomize
