Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
false alarm. still invincible.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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