do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize