party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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