when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
