Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
