he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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