Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
