Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
Randomize
