She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
