We're facebook friends in real life
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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