Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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