Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
