I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
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