I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
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