I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
