Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
he high fived his dick after we had sex
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
Randomize
