the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
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