How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
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