if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
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