this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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