Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
I need moral support for this bender
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize
