Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
