Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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