She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
