i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
She told me I should be a condom model.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
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