Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
The struggles of a small town man whore
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Randomize
