i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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