he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
she smelled like a LAN party
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
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