is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
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