Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Randomize
