So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
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