is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
I just googled if crying burns calories
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
Randomize
