We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize