yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Randomize
