For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Randomize
