You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
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