Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize