If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
Randomize
