Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
operation harelip BJ is a go
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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