i already hear my dad disowning me
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
Randomize
