Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
