Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
Randomize
