did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Randomize
