new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
Randomize
